


Rinse, Wash and Repeat

by Rinoaebastel



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Complete, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinoaebastel/pseuds/Rinoaebastel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The citizens considered Rumplestilskin a pestilence and he liked it that way. What he didn't like, was when he was the victim of one far worse than anything he could ever be. . .</p><p>Tenth in the Missing Moments Collection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rinse, Wash and Repeat

Rumplestiltskin clutched the fabric of his jacket as he bit the inside of his lip. His grip was so tight it looked like he was about to rip the jacket into scraps. Instead, he put all his focus onto his lip and ended up tasting blood in his mouth.

He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on anything other than his head.

He groaned in frustration, feeling how the itch was intensifying; those damned bastards were running through his hair and sullying it with their filthy paws. To top it off, they were probably spawning thousands of descendants who also dared to infest the head of the Dark One.

If he could, he would destroy them all, but his magic wasn't as precise as it was before. So that meant he had to use the annoying conventional methods of shampoos, sprays, and brushes. Methods that, unfortunately for him, didn't work.

They were damn persistent creatures that refused to allow him to be with his Belle. While he had the stupid bugs, he wouldn't allow her to get close to him. He didn't want her to go through this torture too.

He grunted when a tide of itching waved through his hair. He clenched his fist tighter, his hands trembling with all the restraint he was utilizing. He'd give anything to be able to rake his hands through his hair and enjoy breaking their bodies with his old spiked nails.

If he ever found out who passed this pestilence to him, they were dead. Rumplestiltskin narrowed his eyes and endured the itching until he could no longer. He scratched his head; the pleasure he felt was unmatched.

Oh yes, the one who was responsible for this was going to die for sure.

"Rumplestiltskin." When he heard the voice speak his name, he stopped his movements. "You shouldn't scratch. You can injure yourself."

"Belle?" She stepped towards him. When she was a step away, he stepped back. "What are you doing here?"

"I went to see Sneezy, and he gave me another shampoo to remove the lice." She pulled a bottle from the plastic bag she held.

He felt a twitch in his head, growled, and opened his hands like claws to scratch, but he closed them to prevent himself from scratching again. "What I should do is to improve the control of my magic, and then I could destroy all these stupid bugs at once."

"Rumpel, magic isn't needed for this. When I was little one of my father's advisers had lice, and with a few herbs and a little patience to remove the eggs, they were gone in a few weeks.

"Belle, I can't stand this for weeks." When he couldn't stand the itching anymore, his hands went to his head. Belle took a step forward and slapped them away.

"Don't scratch and be patient. This will end soon," she said, trying to encourage him.

"It would be easier with magic. One time Baelfire and I stayed for half a year with lice. So no, this doesn't pass soon.

"Rumpel, never forget that now there are other methods to remove them. It won't take six months."

"And many don't work. Like I said, I have to improve my magic." Belle sighed wearily as he groaned and let his head fall against the glass display counter. "The worst of all is that I can't be with you."

He heard a couple of steps and felt her fingers slide through his hair, massaging his skull and calming the itching without scratching. When her fingers reached his infested neck, he exhaled and released a sound that resembled a purr.

"Let's go home and try the shampoo?" She stopped the massage, and he let out a whimper at the loss of contact.

"I'll try it, but you stay away from me." He lifted his face to look at her, his lips formed into a frown. Belle was also frowning.

He grabbed the shampoo bottle she'd left on the table and read the components and instructions.

Her frown turned into a smile. "It's non-toxic," she said.

"Maybe it should be to get these annoyances," he replied. "The stupid parasites probably feed off the toxic kind."

/ -/- /

Rumplestiltskin sat in the tub and started to wash his hair with the lice shampoo. It had a foul odor of insecticides, stronger than the other shampoos he used; it was supposed to have none.

He rubbed vigorously, relieving the itching but leaving a burning sensation on his skull in the process. Still, that was better than the damned itching.

He sighed when he felt how the soapy substance began to cool his head, so he continued scratching relentlessly. He took the shower and soaked his hair. He didn't stop until he saw the brown fat bugs (who were obese because of his blood) being swept away by the water pressure coming out of the showerhead. He glared at their bodies and smiled with victory when he saw some of them dead and some of their brethren swirling down the drain.

Muhahaha! Take that you torture causing, English kniggits.

But there was still the problem of the foul eggs that were glued to his hair. They kept appearing no matter how many times he combed his hair. He hoped this time the damn shampoo would turn them into boiled eggs, and any bodies left into tiny baby corpses.

He used the shampoo a second time, and even though it wasn't indicated to do so, he used it a third. He was sick of the damn creatures and didn't care if his hair ended up falling out as long as he annihilated the bugs. And maybe he could use a tracking spell on one of the dead ones to find out who the fuck gave him the creatures.

When satisfied with his hair, he washed off the rest of his body and stepped out of the tub. He wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbed a smaller towel, and began drying his hair with frantic, rough movements. When his arm finally protested the quick movements, he stopped rubbing and looked at the towel. A few bugs were entangled in the cotton, unmoving. The ugly towel was a fitting grave for the little shitters.

He limped over to look into the bathroom mirror. If Regina was looking now, he was sure she'd be mocking and laughing at him until her ribs hurt. He clenched his teeth and snatched the metal comb. Maybe he should find a way to give her the little bugs.

A sinister smile crossed his face. She wouldn't die but it would be an exquisite torture for her. And best of all she wouldn't suspect a thing. The idea was tempting but he wanted to get rid of this as fast as he could.

He wanted to be able to hug Belle again. When he thought she was dead, he hadn't acknowledged how much he missed her. Well, he had, but he'd pushed it back more often than not. Now, knowing she was within arms reach and he couldn't hold her was the worse type of torture. Damn bugs were even putting a damper on his sex life. They were a form of impotence.

He sighed and began combing his hair using the special precision comb to separate each strand and clear his hair of the bugs and nits that had nested in his locks. This time, the eggs came off the strands easily, cheering his mood a little. It looked as if Belle had found the perfect shampoo for decimating the lice and its unwanted offspring. Just when he thought he couldn't adore her more than he already did, she did something that proved him wrong.

Belle looked out the window of the guest room where Rumplestiltskin had "locked her up" so she could go sleep without the risk of getting lice. She exhaled in frustration at the distance he was keeping from her. He was a complete moron sometimes. He knew she didn't care if he had a shattered leg, a few rotten teeth or lice in his hair, but he was still so stubborn and a lack of self-confidence still covered his heart. Despite what she did for him, he was afraid that he wasn't what she deserved. That he was not worthy enough to be happy with her.

She wasn't going to be intimidated by that weakness in him. She would help him to strengthen gradually by showing her affection, and how happy she was with him. Whatever happened, she would be at his side. Lice were only a minor nuisance and if they were a poor family, living among sheep and in a small cottage, she wouldn't care about that. They would be together, sharing hugs, kisses and sleepy caresses in a simple straw bed. They would be happy with each other.

It shouldn't be different just because bugs invaded him.

Belle rose from her chair and pulled her gaze away from the horizon. She looked at her reflection in the glass and began to braid her hair. When she finished, she left the room. She stood in a corner and was silent for a minute until she heard cursing coming from the bathroom. She smiled and made her way to the room they usually shared.

She entered the bedroom and moved to sit on the bed. She collapsed on the mattress and sighed in comfort at the surroundings. This was where she belonged.

"Belle? What are you doing here?" She sat up straight when she heard his surprised voice.

"To sleep in bed with you."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm going downstairs." He turned around and Belle shot to her feet. With two strides, she seized Rumplestiltskin's wrist, stopping his flee.

"No. You won't go"

"Belle, I don't want you to get lice."

"I don't care about your lice. I just want to be with you." When he released a tired sigh, she took his hand. "Don't you understand that I don't care at all?"

"But I care Belle. After all, you were a part of the nobility. You don't need to have these bugs. They're beneath you."

She frowned, showing her discontent. "Don't be stupid. I am no better than anyone else, and you are my true love. I want to be with you." She picked up his pajamas, trying to lure him to her. He couldn't go downstairs in a towel after all. "Besides, you don't have bugs anymore, haven't they died with the shampoo?"

"Yes, but maybe one has survived. The last time the monsters came back." Belle smiled and dragged him towards the bed. "Well, according to you, monsters love me. So I am immune to them because of my charm."

Rumplestiltskin sighed. "Belle, these things don't have brains. They only know how to make you crazy and how to lay eggs."

She laughed, kissed his lips, and lay down on the bed, still holding his wrist just in case he changed his mind. But she didn't need to force him.

Rumplestiltskin ended up lying down voluntarily beside her. When he wrapped his arms around her body, Belle relaxed instantly. Being back with him was like being in paradise.

She hadn't slept well during the week due to their separation, and telling from the frustration and fatigue that her lover showed, he felt the same.

It didn't matter if he had lice or green and gold scales. She couldn't be without him and she never wanted to feel her heart breaking into a thousand pieces again. True love could be the most wonderful thing in the world, but also could be a hell if you lost the other part of your soul.

She looked at Rumplestiltskin. He was watching her with dreamy and adoring eyes. The intensity he showed was so deep, that she felt her cheeks heat up. In the end, she couldn't hold the look and had to curl up against him to hide the blush.

"I've missed you," he whispered as he sought shelter for his face in her hair.

"Me too," she replied and gently kissed his neck.

/ - /

Gold entered his house accompanied by sound of his cane hitting the floor. He grinned at being able to finally enter his home without having to dodge Belle as if he was some sort of rugby player. Much to his joy, his infestation looked like it was over. Or so he hoped. For now, he hadn't noticed any irritating itching on his head; that was a good sign.

He removed his jacket and hung it in the closet beside the door. He paused a moment, feeling the strangeness of the place. All was quiet. Too quiet considering that Belle lived there.

He swallowed hard, afraid that something had happened or that she finally had left for good. It didn't matter if he was the Dark One; her leaving was still a constant fear. One that would be stronger when his curse broke and he returned to being a miserable spinner. He knew she wanted to be with him, but maybe someday either distant or not, everything would change. She would be like the other people in his life. Either he'd push her away, though not intentionally, or she'd leave when she got tired of him.

The fact she hadn't left him even when he was attacked by an army of lice made his fear reduce even though it was something that was still rooted firmly in the depths of his heart. He was hoped they would get to have a happily ever after. It was selfish when considering all the monstrosities he'd committed, but she was one of the few people who could pull out his human and emotional sides. And whenever she wanted, he would not hesitate to give his soul to her, even if he still doubted whether any remained.

He couldn't let himself be swayed by his fears every time she disappeared from his sight, but he didn't have to stop being cautious. He respected her space, but it was clear that if he were away from her for too long, he would eventually go as crazy as he had after he'd lost her the first time.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. At least, if he called, he would know where she was and relax a bit. He dialed the number and put the phone to his ear. He waited until the tone started to beep then he heard a happy tune and the sound of water splashing.

"H-hello?" said the voice of his beloved from the phone. Rumplestiltskin breathed again and wanted to laugh at his stupidity. He was a complete paranoid mess when it came to his most beloved person.

"Belle, it's me." He started walking around the house to calm himself.

"Rumpel! Listening to you from this metal box is strange." He gave a little laugh and started to walk up the stairs.

"Well, I could enchant food and talk through it."

"Don't pretend you didn't already do it. I know you did." He was sure that she had puckered her lips.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, I still remember that chicken. It came to life and started singing in my kitchen back at the castle. It scared me so much I almost hit it with a chair."

"It was fun to see you lose your composure." He stopped when he found himself in front of the bathroom door.

"So you were spying on me from the shadows?"

"In those times, most of the time dear." He heard her laugh twice, from his phone and from behind the door.

"I see. You were so dazzled with me that you couldn't take my eyes off me," she joked.

He continued with the joke. "Yes, I even watched you when you slept." Although once, he'd been tempted to watch her while she was sleeping, he'd never crossed that boundary.

He heard her laugh again and after a pause she said, "Are you going to come home soon?"

"If that's what you want."

"It is." Since he had his answer, he obediently opened the bathroom door. Belle turned her surprised face towards him, holding the phone in her hand, which was covered with soap as much as she was. "Rumplestiltskin? How did you—Have you used magic to teleport?"

"No, I was already here," he replied with a slight smile.

"Spying again?" She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes to appear angry. He knew she wasn't.

"Well, you know you're irresistible for this monster." He went into the bathroom and crouched with some difficulty. When he was at her side, she gave him a painless tap against the cheek.

"Stop calling yourself a monster," she replied indignantly. She let out a groan. "I have lice."

Rumplestiltskin froze and his mouth opened in surprise. He had not expected to hear that. When he came out of his stupor, he grunted with guilt and lowered his face to escape the affectionate gaze he didn't deserve.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she placed her finger on his chin and forced him to raise his head so he was looking at her. "It was my choice and I have no regrets."

"I'm sure that most of the world would regret choosing lice."

"I'm not most of the world Rumplestiltskin."

"I don't doubt it," he said. She cupped his face with both hands and mesmerized him with her thumbs stroking over his skin.

"I'm the person who wants to share everything with you. Furthermore, I didn't choose lice. I chose you".

Rumplestiltskin would never ever get used to the deep love she professed. He swallowed hard and opened his eyes. She was watching him with a warm smile. He withdrew his face from the shelter of her hands and bowed slightly to catch her lips. When they touched, his body trembled.

If he continued like that, he would fall into the delusion that every mortal being had. That he would be with his true love forever. He separated from her and looked into cheerful eyes. He knew that was her wish, and with a strange force in him, he began to forget his negative thoughts of being left alone and heartbroken.

"Let me help you," he whispered. He pulled up the small stool he kept in the bathroom so he could sit down beside the tub.

"With magic?"

He shook his head. "No, it could go wrong and I don't want you hurt."

She smiled and leaned against the marble bathtub. He brought his hands to her hair and started rubbing gently. "We will do it the normal way."

"If you think it's the best, then I'm okay with it".

"Then when we're done I will remove the nits and crush the remaining lice. I will not let those bugs violate you, and I will have my revenge for the invasion." She muttered a thank you and he kept rubbing her head lovingly. "My intentions are selfish, Belle. I want your love just for me. I won't share it with those critters."

She chuckled and raised her face to look at him. "Does that mean you're going to let me sleep in our room?"

"If you wish," he said. "If you don't, I will go to wherever you go." Suddenly, an important thought crossed his mind. "Oh by the way . . ." She turned her head to look at him and waited for him to continue. "Stay away from Regina. Today I saw her scratching like crazy. It looked like she wanted to rip off her hair. I would never prevent you from seeing such a joyous event, but keep your distance."

"How is that possible?" she asked more to herself that him. He pursed his lips and held out his hand to help her from the tub. Her eyes widened. "You ... how… Rumplestiltskin! What have you done?" she asked, turning around abruptly and splashing water everywhere. There was a bit of laughing tone in her question that he knew she didn't want to let out but it came anyway.

"Nothing, I just needed to straighten my hair while in her office, so I used a comb and in thanks I left her a little surprise.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't belive I wrotte this...Oh well, I just hope you liked it and if you have a little time, leave a review for knew your toughts :D
> 
> Also Thanks My wufvely Moonie for helping me. I won't writte a thing if it wasn't for you.
> 
> PS: I'm wondering if someone will scratch with this fic... XD


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